It’s not supposed to be this difficult. Yet for so many women, every day is a continuous replay of second guessing every move, every uttered word, every call to action. “Did I sound stupid? Am I doing enough? Now that they’ve seen me slip-up, will they respect me less?” Such continuous second-guessing makes self-worth nearly impossible to establish and even more difficult to sustain.
It’s not just about avoiding temporary self-doubt either. It’s about having self-worth as a daily battle impacting everything from career choices to who you choose to be with. It’s feeling the need to apologize for a well-deserved opinion, downplaying the praise you worked hard to achieve, and desperately needing others to assure you that you’re worthy to take up space.
The Burden of Always Self-Doubting
To hide such feelings is to live with a burden that no one else can see. Every part of life is like an evaluation from the harshest of judges. This judge spots every hiccup, highlights every flaw and disregards successes for pure happenstance.
It’s exhausting not to mention the time and energy it takes to readjust one’s expectations and behavior based on perceived criticism from others. Women who experience this fear often find themselves so exhausted at the end of the day for no particular reason or stimulus – but simply from acknowledging their worth on an ongoing basis while attempting to bring themselves down a notch.
Working with someone like a Therapist Denver or other professionals can help put these unhealthy thoughts into perspective. Trained professionals who know anxiety-based considerations can help women understand why this belief stems from deeper research into a history of self-worth battles and offer cognitive behavioral therapy tools to enable more sustainable self-worth.
Why Success Doesn’t Solve The Problem
And here’s why so many women get it wrong: success doesn’t equal self-worth. Sure, getting the promotion, landing the relationship and garnering recognition from peers helps – but it doesn’t solve the problem at hand. It only exacerbates it with higher expectations to maintain a certain status.
Accomplished yet still broken, women struggle because the internal voice perpetually fighting against them always raises the stakes. “Sure, you earned that promotion but do you deserve it? How do you know they didn’t promote you by mistake?”
The difference between external success and internal worth is staggering. Many women find themselves battling imposter syndrome when they should be basking in their success. But with the need to continually overwork themselves and prove their worth through numbers and metrics, success never feels gratifying enough until an elusive prize is met.
The Implications of Not Self-Assessing
All this constant questioning impacts decision-making as countless opportunities, honesty, and authenticity escapes women who take extra time to dissect how their decisions will be viewed instead of valuing them first and foremost.
Relationships suffer similarly as the fear of being “too much” or not enough makes women either shy away from experiences that could negatively impact them, or exhaust themselves trying to already predict and please everyone’s needs. Yet neither facilitates genuine connection nor allows for honest development.
Women who battle against themselves also find careers stagnant as self-worth ceases to allow women time and space to advocate for themselves, speak out at meetings or go after risky ventures. Instead, the voice telling them they’re not enough prevents personal and professional growth.
Breaking The Cycle
Recovery isn’t through easy positive affirmations but rather involving research into original beliefs formed years ago that fostered an atmosphere of always questioning worth in the first place.
It’s essential during this discovery phase to realize how childhood developments, familial interactions and cultural statements formed the ideas that now create such spiraling thoughts for women today. It’s crucial to note how many women experienced conditional love growing up or a degree-oriented concept of worthiness instead of acknowledgment for mere existence.
It’s easier for some than for others in determining which patterns are comfortable – even though they’re painful. The alternative – building real confidence – feels daunting and unpredictable; which is why receiving support is so critical in fostering change with new tools to manage potential discomfort associated with vulnerability in finding one’s self-worth again on their terms.
How To Build Real Self-Worth
Real confidence comes from authentic levels of self-worth that don’t fluctuate based on external circumstances or what others think. It’s learning how one’s value isn’t based on performance or other people’s opinions.
It’s not about avoiding all apologies or checking in on one self – healthy acknowledgment means knowing one’s mistakes or areas for growth without allowing these assessments tear down overall perceived value; this is where a difference lies – in curiosity vs critical analysis against oneself.
Sustainable confidence also means trusting judgment over preferences. Women who always seek permission might find value in others needing validation just as much before they commit but nothing stops sustainable confidence until sustainable preferences exist. It’s all about developing self-trust in judgment through practice – establishing stable ground based on decisions made instead of others’ thoughts for themselves along the way.
Women who struggle with self-worth do not need to live that cycle – and when assessed properly through appropriate channels can release themselves from this exhausting cycle and finally bring stability back into their lives over time – and it’s worth it to cut off the daily fight.
